We had an incident this weekend with our older son, age 8.  He is at that stage where he is testing his boundaries, moreso than “normal”.  And, during the church service, he went a bit too far.  His consequence for his inappropriate behavior was to visit the nursery (typically for children 3 and under).  He begged me not to leave him, but the room wasn’t crowded and since I work in there from time to time, the ladies were more than happy to let him “help out” with the little guys.  So, he was admitted into the room with the little kids, and I am pretty sure he sat in the same chair for the remainder of the worship service.  He was in the same spot when I retrieved him for Sunday School.

My first reaction to what I was doing to my child was shock and a little horror.  Was I scarring him for life?  Was it wrong for him to be embarrassed or humiliated?  I had an overwhelming sense of guilt until my reasoning skills took over.  *I* didn’t put my son into that situation; *he* put himself there.  He knew the consequences and chose to take the wrong path anyway.  He was testing his limits and found out exactly where that kind of behavior would lead him.

We had a long chat afterward about his feelings over what happened.  He was embarrassed and angry at first.  But he, too, realized that it all could have been avoided had he simply done what was expected of him.  He also understands that it WILL happen again should he choose to misbehave.  For every action, there is a consequence, and he is in charge of his own actions.

Was I tough on my son?  You bet I was.  That’s my job as a parent - to teach him to be responsible for himself, to show him that his actions warrant consequences (good and bad), and to enforce rules that are given to him.  My job is not to be his best friend or let him do whatever he wants to do; that isn’t parenting.  Parenting is hard work, it is painful, and it is emotionally and physically draining.  The rewards are huge, though, when your child realizes they are in control of their discipline by their actions.