Our older son grew up with grandparents, aunts, and uncles all within an hour of our home.  He was truly raised by a village of people!  However, before the birth of our second son, we moved four hours away from our amazing family support system.  We knew, though, how amazing those relationships with extended family were, so we came up with a way to help our younger son identify his kin as he grew older.

We took pictures of all of our relatives and printed them out on sheets of photo paper.  Then, we mounted these pictures to magnetic sheets.  Next, we cut out each individual person (I cut close to the outline of the person to make them “paper dollish”) and cut out names for labels for each person as well.  Our refrigerator and dish washer are decorated with smiling faces of family and close friends, and our sons both love to “play” with their family.  When we talk to relatives on the phone, the boys can look at that person they are talking to and make a connection with them!

In what my husband would call “typical boy fashion”, we have moments at the table of which I am not proud.  Moments of bodily noises, discussions that tend to curb many an appetite and, in general, not the greatest manners on the block.  So, to encourage my boys to be better behaved at dinner at home, I tried a few ideas.  My thought is, if we practice good manners at home, we’ll have an easier time remembering them when we’re out or at a friend’s house.

While none of these are the end-all, beat-all solution to teaching your children manners, they are some great ideas to encourage that kind of behavior.  Of course, the best solution is consistency and modeling.  If you want good manners, then SHOW good manners, and ENCOURAGE good manners.  These ideas lend themselves well to that theory.

1. Make it a tangible award.  We recycled an old trophy of my husband’s to be our “Manner Trophy”.  Each evening (you could also stretch it out over the course of a week with older kids), we present one child with the Manner Trophy for outstandingly good manners at the table (or the most improved for those that aren’t quite there but are trying really hard!).  That child gets to temporarily keep the trophy until the next award ceremony.  Old medals and ribbons also work well for this.
2. Make it a game.  We made a list of rules we wanted our boys to follow while eating a meal, such as “elbows off the table” and “thank the person who prepared the food.”  At the beginning of the meal, each person at the table is given 10 of an object, such as 10 toothpicks or 10 pennies.  During the course of the meal, if someone spots a violation of a rule, he (or she) may politely ask the offender for a toothpick or penny.  The winner of the game is the person with the most objects when the meal is over.  We try to make the “prize” something simple, like a sticker or another little treat, but as a family we try to make it an all-around tie so everyone wins!
3. Give out simple rewards.  This works well with younger children because the reward can be almost immediate.  Write out on slips of paper some simple rewards, such as reading an extra book at night or playing a board game or getting an extra fifteen minutes before heading to bed.  The rewards can be specific to each child.  Place each child’s reward slips in a special jar or container (we use recycled spaghetti jars labeled with the boys’ names).  When mealtime goes well and the kids use their good manners, each gets to choose a reward slip from his jar.

Are you looking for a few ideas to hold your sanity in tact until warmer weather arrives?  Even if you are already seeing signs of Spring, these are great activities in ANY kind of weather!

• Let’s go on a treasure hunt!  Hide a treasure somewhere outside, then leave a trail of colorful aquarium rocks, bread crumbs or even cereal for them to follow to find it.  If there’s snow around, the edible trail idea will be great for hungry animal-friends!  Too chilly for those little bodies?  Create a treasure hunt indoors!
• Become a weather bug! Have your child monitor the weather each day by writing or drawing what he or she sees.  Make a journal or chart of the changes in your local weather, and see if your child can predict what might happen the next day.
• If you are in an area still covered with snow, fill a few squirt bottles with colored water and bundle those kids up.  Have them spray the snow to create fantastic works of art right there on the ground!
• If springtime storms are starting to make an appearance, have your child create a picture with watercolor markers on a piece of posterboard or even a paper plate.  When the rain comes, place the drawing outside and watch what happens.
• Create an indoor snowman…make good use of those styrofoam packing peanuts be drawing an outline of a snowman on a piece of heavy paper.  Have your child glue packing peanuts all over the snowman, then embellish with spare buttons, scrap material, twigs, bottle caps or whatever goodies you have just sitting around!

My husband watched this weekend, in apparent horror, as our four year old took the HUGE bin of Hot Wheels cars and dumped them in the middle of the living room floor.  While I see this quite often at our house, my husband is usually at work or away and misses these lovely events.  I knew what his initial reaction would be, and I made sure to make quick eye contact with him and let him know that it was okay.  He just needed to watch - and learn.

Our four year-old then proceeded to sort through his collection of metal vehicles.  First, he separated the vans, motorcycles, trucks, cars and planes into different groups.  He lined them all up, then he took each group and sorted those by color: reds together, yellows, greens, making arbitrary decisions on those with several colors.  All the cars were lined up, facing my husband, grouped and sorted.  Then, my son dashed off to find his brother and play a little soccer outside.

While we need to work on the “clean up” phase of playing (obviously), what my husband and I just witnessed was a wonderful display of our son’s developmental skills.  Sorting is an essential pre-reading and pre-math skill.  Being able to classify objects into groups based on shape, size, color, or even ability (it rolls, it flies, it bounces…) leads to distinguishing between subtle characteristics of letters, such as “O” and “Q” or “b” and “d”.  Classification is an essential higher-order thinking skill and should be encouraged with young children.

Sorting and classification is not just relegated to toys; trail mix can be sorted.  Bath toys can be sorted.  Have your child sort silverware when helping to empty the dishwasher.  Sort cups according to size.  Sort canned goods in the pantry according to type and size.  Sort rocks or sticks based on whatever characteristic your child can find.

And, if you find a way to incorporate cleaning up into this, please let me know…my nine year-old is STILL working on that one…

When my older son was little, we lived within 20 minutes of all of our relatives - both sides of the family.  He spent the first four years of his life being immersed in extended family.  But, due to a job change for my husband, we ended up moving about four hours away, creating a huge gap in our families’ lives and our son’s.  We found a way, though, to keep family close while still miles away.

In our new home, we created a “family tree” wall.  We framed pictures of all of our relatives, each person with his or her own individual frame.  And, along the hallway leading to my son’s room, we hung these photos.  Each night, as my son finished his bathroom duties and headed off to bed, we said, “goodnight” to all of our family.  It was (and still is) a wonderful way to keep him in touch with those that were such an intricate part of his first few years.

As an alternative, take a group photo the next time a large number of family are together and frame this.  Keeping it in your child’s room will be a nice way to keep those family members close to your child.  It is a great way to keep loving faces familiar (and names, too).

As a teacher, I’ve witnessed firsthand how excited children get when they get to share something at school with their friends.  Everything from a coveted toy or stuffed animal to a shiny rock found on the sidewalk is fair game, and each item is meaningful and unique in its own way.  It is a time most, if not all, children look forward to.

In our house, we have incorporated this idea into some family time.  On nights that we don’t have sports commitments, piano lessons or church obligations, we have a designated “Show and Tell” session.  Our boys are asked to share something from either school or an activity they are in.  It can be a test paper, an art project, a special skill from baseball, or a book they are reading.  In turn, my husband and I share something with our boys that WE are interested in: my scrapbooking or photography and my husband’s interest in cars are just a few.  We practice being good listeners and positive feedback-givers.

It is an excellent opportunity for our 9 year old to share something he’s exceptionally proud of (even though he’s probably told us about it a dozen times - he doesn’t mind sharing once more!).  It is also great practice for our four year old in speaking in front of others.  And, it gives us a special time to share together as well!

As adults, it is our responsibility to teach young children what it means to be a good citizen.  It is our job to show them how to take care of others and the community - a skill that will last throughout their lifetime.  Here are some great ideas to try as a family:

1. Having a party?  Ask the guests to bring donations to Blue Santa, the Food Bank, a children’s shelter or another non-profit group.  Our son is having a “pet party” next year to collect food and pet supplies for our local animal shelter. 
2. “Adopt” a neighbor.  Have your child check on the neighbor from time to time, draw pictures and share little snippets of his or her day.  Older neighbors who aren’t feeling well, are unable to leave the house or live alone will appreciate something fresh and different in their daily routine from time to time.  If your child chooses to share cookies or something similar, though, check for dietary restrictions first.  Sometimes just playing a card game or helping retrieve the mail is a wonderful gift for an older person.
3. Have a “Fashion Show”.  Have your child model all of their clothing, and together decide if it still fits or should be donated to a worthy organization.  Then have him/her choose the charity to donate and take him/her along to give away the clothes.
4. Teach your child to share his or her talents.  If your child is taking music lessons, offer a “free concert” for some neighbors.  Or, if younger children are around, allow your child to read to one of them.  Likewise, read to older adults as well, especially those with poor eyesight or in a nursing home.  If your child has a special interest or hobby, have him or her share it with another child or a close adult.

(aka - Ideas To Get Your Kids On Board With Cleaning Up Without Going Crazy Yourself)

Apparently, one of the most painful things for our boys is to clean the playroom and bedroom.  Sometimes, the clutter is so bad that it trickles into the living room, and that’s when I know the mess in our playroom must be BAD.  And, it is time for some intervention.  Here are some ideas to try to motivate your kids to clean up (let me know if they work for you!).

1. Baby (timed) steps - sometimes, the mess can be quite overwhelming.  So, I set a timer and have my boys clean what they can before the time runs out.  I usually set the timer somewhere between five and ten minutes, although you can set it for any amount of time.  My boys love to “race the clock”, and they also appreciate the fact that they are guaranteed a break when the timer goes off.
2. Scavenger hunt cleaning - my older son is very motivated by money (and my younger one as well, by default), so I will sometimes hide pennies or other coins under a few toys in a cluttered area.  The boys love looking for secret change, but the rule is that anything they look under must be put away, whether money is there or not.  When the money is all found, I let them “buy” a special snack or treat as a reward.
3. For a while, my boys’ definition of “clean” and MY definition of “clean” were two completely different concepts!  So, after one massive cleaning effort, we took pictures of the finished area…pictures of the bookshelf, the toy cars, the train track, and even the inside of desk drawers.  When it is time to clean up, we take out the pictures to remember what “clean” really means.  My boys have a model to follow, and I get the “clean” I expect!

What’s your favorite way to motivate your kids to clean?  Leave a comment and share your ideas!